Skepticism about couples therapy is used to be the norm. Success rates were fifty-fifty, and the long-lasting effects could be not so very long lasting.
Recently the psychology world has turned towards a more emotionally focused approach and the success rates have risen considerably.
The making of a team
Couples often start in couples therapy Westchester County NY as adversaries. There is something of the ‘he said, she said’ taking place, and in addition, there’s also the understandable need to right. It might be understandable but it is not helpful. Nor does it open the door to real communication.
Couples’ therapy today is more likely to align both partners with each other in identifying and working towards a mutual solution. When the couple is working towards something together, they are more likely to see each other as allies.
Owning their part of the problem
Therapy is not going to be successful unless each half of the pair is able to own their own part of the problem. If either sees themselves as blameless and the other party totally in the wrong, there is no way to resolve the issues.
Both parties have to be able to see where their behavior is a source of friction and be open to new modalities of communication and empathy.
That word is also a keyword in couples therapy. Each partner has to be able to empathize with the perspective of the other and respect their pain and past trauma. With that as a foundation couples can begin to build a bridge and move forward with each other.
This approach is for couples who want to stay together, which is one of the ways in which therapists measure the success or failure of the approach. Did the two stay together?